Thursday, December 23, 2010

Pepperidge Farm Fatty

You.  You’re so damn good I can’t even pronounce you.   But I have a bone to pick.  You have severely cannibalized my post-pregnancy weight loss.    And while you may think its cute that you sit in a fancy, sophisticated canister, I do not.  In fact, I loathe your canister. 

Why? 

Because you make it impossible for me to secretly dispose of you.  Your counterparts, Oreo, Chips Ahoy, the girl scouts, all housed in a biodegradable, easily-disposable package that allows me to eat and discard without my husband knowing. But you and your bulky, cumbersome canister make me look piggish when I eat lets say...several canisters...and then leave me no room in my garbage for anything else.  How selfish of you!  And to make matters worse, I need to RECYCLE you in a clear plastic bag so my shame and embarrassment is broadcasted all over neighborhood.  

Shame on you.  But I love you so much.

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